I first saw this story on MomLogic and since I'm a young mother wanted to have my say in this story too. If you take a look at the comments, most are naturally putting this little girl down. I call her a little girl because she is. She's had children, many for her young age, and has no idea what the real world is like. I'm not much older and am certainly not claiming that I do. I feel sorry for her in a way.
When I was young, I did some obviously stupid things that I shouldn't have been doing. I had my first child just before my 15th birthday. I was in no way ready for a baby, but I prepared myself for what was to come, and read every "pregnancy manual" I could get my hands on. I was nervous, scared, excited all at the same time. Being at the age I was, I wanted to get an abortion, to not have the baby and never let my parent's find out. Thankfully, those plans never happened and I get to hug and kiss my now 6 year old son everyday.
I've learned from those events in my early life. I will never call them mistakes, they were in no way planned, but I can't bring myself to calling my children mistakes. Mistakes you regret. My son made me grow up, grow up very fast. I wanted to graduate. I was entering the 9th grade with a newborn! I attended classes that I could work at my own pace, and within a year and a half, received my high school diploma.
Years passed, and I had two other children. All "Whoops!" babies, to which I contribute my birth control methods gone wrong. But, they are all a blessing. I've finally found a birth control method that will work now and in the future. I want to finish college and become an elementary school teacher. If you know me personally, you know I have a unique bond with any child I meet. I feel it's my calling.
I know many young mothers out there are not good mothers at all. Some will never even help in raising that child. They'll live the party life-style, adding drugs and alcohol to their life, which is no place for a mother to be in. Most moms my age that I know personally are just that. But a select few will be great mothers. Better than those who were 35 when they had their first baby. I think each and everyone of us is different, and should not be judged based on stereo-types alone.
I have a young daughter (just 2), but will one day have "that talk" with her. I want her to be able to talk to me, and I will put her on birth control if the need arises. Kids are going to have sex, there is no doubt about that. Just telling them not to more than likely will not do the job. My boys will also learn about safe sex, and to always use protection no matter what. I will push abstinence, but I will always assume the worst. During this day and age, I think you have to.
She's 18...with 4 Kids!
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11 Comments:
It's just easier to comment, I think.
There is no positive that people want to see. If you read the last sentance, she sounds like she wants to get her act together. Wanting to provide a safe house for them and planning on looking for a job.
Your story inspires me. That not all teen pregnancies end with a bad story. And that stereotypes should not be the only thing that we see in people.
Thanks for sharing your story and the link. I'm a young mom too, and I dont regret anything! =)
for you...
http://theredheadriter.blogspot.com/2009/08/secrets-friends-and-sharing.html
I want to thank for for sharing your story. It is important for people to understand the reality of being a young mom.
It isn't how it seems on The Secret Life of the American Teenager or MTV's 16 & Pregnant.
I had my first daughter when I was 16, and although it made me grow up very fast, I don't regret the choice to keep her. She is amazing.
I don't want her to go through the same experience as me. So we have been having the talk in one form or another since she was about 2 years old. Communication is so important.
Thanks again for being the positive voice of young moms,
Kristie
I hadn't seen the story of the young girl with multiples- wow that would be hard! Thanks for sharing your story. It is nice to hear that you have your life on track and your children are blessings to you! I've been watching MTV's 16 and Pregnant and having had my first at 27 I can't IMAGINE what it is like to go through pregnancy/delivery/raising newborn at such a young age. kudos to you for doing a good job!
Kim,
If you get a chance, read this: http://myfourmonkeysproductreviews.blogspot.com/2009/07/todays-day.html
I posted it the weekend of BlogHer so I know you weren't around. I was pregnant and 15, but my story was a bit different. You are so strong, and a great mom! I wish I had had the strength to stand up to those around me. Good job, Kim!
Very interesting post. I'm a relatively young mother too. I had my first daughter at 24 which, in the city I live in is VERY young. Many of the first-time moms I met at my mom-baby yoga class were nearing 40! I totally agree that age has NOTHING to do with quality of parenting. The only downfall I can see to having 4 babies at 18 (OMG I can't imagine having 4 babies at ANY AGE!! lol!) is the life experiences the mother MAY miss out on (such as travel, early-20s relationships, a "normal" college/university experience, etc.). And I say MAY miss out on very clearly because, obviously, anything is possible with the right support and planning.
When I got pregnant I knew people felt sorry for me. Unmarried, had just finished a degree (having given up my first career!!),etc. And yet we just bought a great house, have two amazing vacations lined up and I'm working on starting a business. so anything IS possible and I don't think anyone feels sorry for me anymore :).
I hope this girl shows the world that they don't have to worry about her or her kids by making great choices and doing what's best for HER family, not for the people who have an opinion about her family. Sounds like that's the path you've chosen, Kimberly, and I think that's fabulously awesome for you! Keep up the great mommying (and just remember, by the time you're 40 you'll have adult children when many of these older moms will just be starting out -- now THAT is cool!)
I agree with you... When a teenager gets pregnant, its a really tough situation, and every young girl who gets pregnant needs to think really hard about which direction their life is going to go. Some girls don't take the decision seriously and think of their babies as sort of accessories or dolls or something. But I also know a lot of older mothers who are the same way. So I guess you can't just judge someone by their age... its their individual personality and morals that will affect what they do in any situation!
I had my son at 19 I was terrified, I cried everyday, hated the fact that I was one of those girls that was pregnant right out of school. At the time his I couldn't stand his dad wanted him no where near me. I really really beat myself up over it.
From the second he was born he was mine, and I was taking care of him, not nanny granny or whoever he was my baby and my responsibility.
Things happen, why who knows but they make you who you are and I can honestly say I would be nothing without him or now his sister too. His dad and I wouldn't even sheak and now was are going on our 11 year, (4 back and forth before he was born).
If you are going to be a good parent you are going to be a good parent no matter what your age, I know parents are 2 times my age and I think I am a lot more put together than they are.
I hope that you're able to follow your dreams and become a teacher.
I'm currently attending school to become an elementary teacher. I can't wait to have my own class room in 2 years!
I always knew we had more of a connection than just both being bloggers. =]
I have to agree with you, I too am a young mother. And I want to thank you for this post.
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